27
Feb
10

Chile Hit by Strong Earthquake, Pat Robertson to Issue Press Release

Only a day after Japan was hit by an earthquake, Chile was rocked by an 8.8 (!!!) magnitude quake of its own. So far, around 150 are confirmed dead, but more casualties are expected. Thankfully, however, it seems that Chile will be mostly spared from the staggering devastation that was visited upon Haiti in January.

In other news, Christian fundamentalists are still incredibly stupid and malignant (warning: link also contains “2012” lunacy):

To what do the signs and portents point?  According to the Bible, just prior to the Second Advent there will be a series of natural disasters.  These tumultuous events advise mankind that the Second Advent is imminent.

[…]

The Seventh Trumpet of Revelation 11 heralds the Second Advent.  Verse 13 records that just prior to God’s descent to earth the city of Jerusalem will be destroyed by a tremendous earthquake.  “And at that hour there was a great earthquake, and a tenth of the city fell; seven thousand people were killed in the earthquake, and the rest were terrified and gave glory to the God of heaven.”

I guess no one noticed that Jerusalem is a long way from Chile.

Nevertheless, we’re now getting reports that Pat Robertson is scheduled to hold a press conference later today. Early reports indicate that he will blame the earthquake in Chile on the fact that a Chilean symphony played a rendition of the music from “The Lord of the Rings,” which, in Robertson’s words “is a Satanic book full of demons, goblins, and Luciferian sorcery. The book contains references to reincarnation and resurrecting the dead, which is entirely opposed to Christian teachings. Also, we have reason to believe that several of the characters, including the hero, are homosexuals.”

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2 Responses to “Chile Hit by Strong Earthquake, Pat Robertson to Issue Press Release”


  1. 1 CJ Ciaramella
    March 1, 2010 at 8:51 am

    Sadly, it’s hard to tell if the Pat Robertson part is true or satire.

  2. 2 Vincent
    March 1, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    Pat Robertson would forget that necromancy is part and parcel of Christian belief, wouldn’t he? What a bum.


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